Dating with chronic illness

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The break-up and divorce rate among couples where one person has a chronic illness is higher than the national average. There isn't a whole lot of affection, but that's not her personality to start with. Finding someone who can be honest about their needs and not stretching themselves too thin is extremely important. Ensure that you do not allow your date to make you feel less than amazing.

Even today, I sometimes wonder if being alone would be simpler. I actually found another nice lady around my age who had cancer and was in the same boat. Even if you choose not to have your activity tracked by third parties for advertising services, you will still see non-personalized ads on our site. Kirsten runs and also blogs for. North illness can often shift the balance of a relationship. You need to text back and forth to learn about each other, but how much texting is too much texting that early on. Although illness does not define us, it is a very important part of dating with chronic illness lives. There are both free and paid memberships.

And whichever one of you is the caregiver may not be able to leave a job you don't like because of problems with coverage. I used to have summer flings.

Tagged in - Mimi Mosher is legally blind and has MS.

My mom called me a flower child and said I was born in the wrong generation because I loved tie-dye, peace signs, John Lennon and the idea of world peace. My mind was old but my body was young. Until I was 20 and my body caught up to it. When I was diagnosed with , my entire life changed. I had to plan and schedule my time meticulously in order to maximize my energy. I learned that if I had one busy day, it would take me three days of rest to rebuild my energy. If I was in a flare, count me out for any non-essential activities, and sometimes count me out of the essential ones too. I have periods of time when I barely leave the couch, let alone the house. There is no pattern. They are unpredictable by nature. For example, going to special events. With all of this knowledge about how to live with chronic illness, I have successfully held down a job and am currently working about half time. I try and make it a point to see friends once a week. Also, this post was partially inspired by I read on The Mighty great site for any spoonies reading this — check it out! Being single has felt right for me for a long time. Sometimes being single just feels so much easier than trying to date because it gives you complete control over your life and your time, and requires far fewer commitments to others. In a way, being single is a relief when you have a chronic illness, because it allows you to focus all of your time and effort on yourself and your health. When things are going well health-wise, I totally feel like I would be a good partner. Dating is hard for anyone. How do you find someone you want to date? Then do you kiss at the end of the date? And if they do, are you interested in going out again? How many dates do you go on before deciding whether you like them or not? And on and on and on. Nowadays, technology makes dating even more complicated. Most people these days meet through dating apps. Tinder, Bumble, OK Cupid, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel — the list is endless! You chat with them for a bit and then maybe you go out together. To me, the whole thing is so inorganic and impersonal. You need to text back and forth to learn about each other, but how much texting is too much texting that early on? And then the question becomes: at what point is it appropriate to post our first selfie together? Chronic illness adds yet another layer to the difficulty of dating. It can be a pretty heavy topic to bring up, considering it affects your entire future. There will have to be an adjustment period in which they learn about how you live your life. You will probably not be like other partners they have dated. You will probably require more patience because you will be rescheduling or canceling dates. Depending on your condition, you may even require assistance of different sorts. How will a guy react when I have to cancel dates? Reschedule them time after time? If I can find a guy I like, awesome! We might end up spending more dates nights than not on the couch watching movies. I know that everything happens in its own time, and what is meant to be will be. I have hope that I will find a partner who accepts me fully, and I know in my heart that all of the inner work I am doing now and all of my self-love and self-care practices are shaping me into the partner that I am meant to be, and therefore preparing me for my future partnership. But damn, its lonely sometimes. Do you have any experience dating with a chronic illness? Leave your tips in the comments below!